hye peeps! it's bee soo long since my last post.
been busy actually, so do forgive me. hehe :P
so, the main reason why i want to update my blog is because i want to blurt out something.
something that has been keeping it for mt\yself for so long, and i wanna get it out from my chest.
it's been a while since i've fallen in love with somebody.
the first person i've ever loved with all my heart is my senior.
i've been loving him since i was in form two until i'm form 5.
then, i thought that we don't have the chance to be together so i decided to accept my first boy friend.
but after i accepted my first boyfriend, i found out that he actually have feelings for me too.
but it was too late because i was with someone else and i could'nt just dump my boy friend for him.
that's just not me. so i tried my hardest to forget him, pushing him away from my life.
and then few months later, i broke up with my boy friend. and in a short period i accepted my best friend as my boy friend.
i only accepted him because he understands me, or i think he was...
but when we're lovers, things starts to fall from it's place.
so i've decided to broke up with him.
then i met this guy, he's my senior but from different course.
at first he's kind, understanding and all, but after i accepted him he started to change.
and because of that i broke up with him.
then, this other guy, we're only lovers for only one month.
lepas tu broke up sb tak tahan jugak.
but actually, among all of my boy friends, there's only one that i love the most, which is my first boy friend.
yang lain2 tu stakat sayang je, xlebih dr tu.
but i've been loving this one guy since when i was in semester one at UiTM until now.
i loved him because he was very understanding and he know things without having me to tell him.
like for example, when i was feeling down, he knows about it even though i didn't tell him anything or show any sign.
i loved him so much, but then i found out something about him, something that really hurts me, he broke my heart into thousand pieces and i cried so hard, nasib baik time tu tgh cuti semester, so bole la aku nangis sorang2 tnp perlu risau ade orang dengar ke tak.
i know i'm stupid because i still love him so much even after what he've done to me.
and since then i never loved anyone because i'm scared, scared of my heart will be broken over and over again. it was too painful for me to handle.
so i lock my heart, not giving any space for any men that tried to open it.
so many guys come and go from my life, feeling heart broken when i rejected them.
but i've warned them from the beginning that we can only be friends, nothing more.
but they always expect something more from me. and in the end, their heart was broken and they blame me.
is it really my fault? i don't think so.
and now, i just wanna say something to those guys out there,
PLEASE STOP EXPECTING SOMETHING FROM ME.
i don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings.
i'm sorry..
